Time Line

 

Here I have brief synopsis of events by year and month with links that take you to more detailed document. The links located on the Month names next to the year on the right lead to the journal Takako kept on the kids for the year 2004. Other links are provided as they come up.

 

 

1994 Zachary is Born

1996 Mirrissa is Born

2000 New Life in Florida

2003 The Year of Changes

2004 The Year of Custody Battle

2005 The Year of Loss

2006 The Year of Transition

2007 New Beginnings

 

1992 In the Beginning

1992 June

After I got out of the Army after serving 4 years. I moved in with my high school buddy Troy and his girl friend Michelle in Spokane WA. I had just started working at KeyTronics and attend college at ITT. Stacy lived with her mother in the house across the street from Troy's house and that's how we met.

1992 July

Shortly after we met, Stacy informed me that she was pregnant with my child. This was unexpected for me but pregnant is pregnant. A guy has to own up to it. I thought to myself "I guess this is it."

1992 Aug

Since we are going to be "together" I move into Stacy's house with her mom.

Of course living with in-laws is difficult, so next month so Stacy and I get an apartment together. Around this time, I introduce Stacy to my family and friends. They all tell me, "you can do better" but I am determined to make this work.

1992 Dec

Stacy miscarries. I was devastated. By this time, my family and friends have distanced themselves from me to avoid Stacy. I was working two jobs and going to school full time. Stacy was understandably very depressed and spent most of her time moping at home.

1993 Sept

Stacy becomes pregnant with Zach. This was a slightly positive time in our relationship. We were happy to actually be on our way to have the family we started to have a year ago.

1994 Zachary is Born

1994 June

Zach is born. I was present at his birth. Zach was a very active baby, he cried and cried and cried all the time.

1994 Nov

My brother Rick and his girl friend Julie move in with Stacy and I. They are saving up money to get a place of their own and asked to stay with us. Julie had a job but Rick was still looking around. So it turned out that Rick and Stacy spent a lot of time at home together.  Around this time, Stacy becomes pregnant with Mirrissa.

1995 May

Zach is now almost a year old. I graduated from ITT with my AA degree. In order to continue school for my Bachelors, we move to Oregon.

1995 Aug

That summer was difficult for us. Stacy and I were not getting along. I was busy with work and school and didn't help her with Zach and around the house as Stacy would have liked. Stacy was lonely with nothing to do all day except care for Zach.

1996 Jan

By winter, we break up and Stacy decides to move back in with her mother in Spokane. I didn't oppose her taking Zach because there was no way I could care for him at that time.

1996 July

I graduate from ITT in Oregon with my BS degree. Done with school, I want to move back to Spokane as soon as possible so I can see Zach again. My mom agrees to let me stay at her place until I get a job.

1996 Mirrissa is Born

1996 Aug

Mirrissa is born. That fall, after Mirrissa was born, Stacy allowed me to see the kids once a week or so at a local park. I wished I could see them more but when the weather was bad, you can't force babies to go outside.

1996 Oct

Early winter, Stacy applies to receive child support and is granted custody of Zach and Mirrissa by Washington State court order along with child support obligations. I had weekly contact with Stacy and the kids but no mention of this was made. I received notification of custody hearing but didn't attend, neither did Stacy. I understood that I had to pay child support and that was fine with me.

That winter there was an extremely cold ice storm which killed a lot of the trees on my mom's property. I spent most of the winter logging the trees with my mom's husband. It was hard work but I made quite a bit of money and I was pleased.

1997 March

In the spring, Stacy starts collecting on child support payments and welfare. She gets her own apartment and starts school at the local community college.

Stacy asks me to watch the kids while she attends classes so I was only happy to oblige. For a couple of months, I get to see the kids almost daily. By the summer, I resumed my relationship with Stacy.

1997 Sept

Stacy struggled in school and by September of that year, she simply quit. I moved into the apartment with Stacy and the kids. Stacy got a job as a nursing assistant worked for home health care company.  Zach is 2 years old and Mirrissa just had her first birthday. For a blissful couple of months, I was a stay at home dad and took care of the apartment and the kids.

1998 Jan

 

Stacy meets a new boyfriend and break up with me. I moved back in with my mom.  Stacy files harassment charges on me but is dismissed.

Around this time, Stacy is fired from her job and couldn't pay the rent and moves back in with her mom. Stacy stayed home with her disabled mom and rarely needed a baby sitter. I missed the kids a lot that spring because Stacy let me see the kids at a park once a week or so but would not let me see them alone for any length of time.

1998 April

In April, Stacy breaks up with her boyfriend and asked me to come back to her. I missed the kids and I agree. We move into a new apartment.

1998 May

I find out about Stacy double dipping on Child Support.

1999

 

2000 New Life in Florida

2000 Jan

 

In January of 2000, I was offered a promotion as Assistant Programming Manager in the Lakeland Florida office. I detest cold weather so I jumped at the opportunity. Stacy had never lived away from her mother and was very reluctant but she accompanies me to Florida.

2000 Aug

Zach started 1st grade in Auburndale FL.

2000 Dec

Pictures of the kids at Christmas time.

2001 Aug

Zach repeats 1st grade, first of many setbacks in the kids schooling. Mirrissa in Kindergarten. Auburndale, FL

2001

Sept-Nov

 

2001 Dec

In December Stacy I and the kids take a trip back to Washington to visit with grandparents.

2002 Feb

I secretly started seeing a coworker and naturally, my relationship with Stacy deteriorated.

2002 March

 

I am finally able to close on my new house in Lakeland. It had taken over 6 months to get the manufactured home placed on the lot and finalize financing. It is a large 4bedroom 2 bath house with a huge fenced in yard for the kids to play. I love it.

2002 April

Kids transfer to Kathleen Elementary School in Lakeland FL.

2002 May

I hold a house warming party and invite all my friends and coworkers. We all have a great time. Our neighbors Nikki and Dan invite us over to their house to enjoy their large pool.

2002 June

 

Stacy's mom comes to visit us from Spokane Washington. She buys us a large above ground pool.  During her stay, her health deteriorates and she is hospitalized.

2002 July

After a couple of weeks in the hospital, Stacy's momm passes away. Stacy goes to WA to take care of her mother's affairs, and the kids go with her.

2002 Aug

Waiting for the sale of Stacy's moms house, Zach starts 2nd grade in WA

2002 Sept

Stacy returns from WA with the kids. Stacy is especially lonely after loss of her mother. Emails after Stacy returned from Washington really show our rocky relationship. Zach resumes school in 2nd grade. Teachers at Kathleen Elementary decide to retain Mirrissa in Kindergarten for another year.

2003 The Year of Changes

2003 Jan

Stacy is suspicious that I am having an affair. More e-mails between Stacy and I.

2003 Feb

Couple of days before Valentines Day, Stacy shows up at work unexpectedly. I was out of the office so she went through my desk and found receipts for Valentine day flowers. I had purchased a dozen for my girlfriend, and half dozen for Stacy. Bad move. Stacy is furious and starts yelling, throwing things and hitting the walls. I try to tell her to be quiet but finally the boss tells us to get out. (Emails)

As a result of the disturbance, I am demoted from Programming Manager to just Programmer.

Despite my cheating on Stacy, Stacy wants me to stay with her. I decide that Stacy deserves every chance for the kids' sake. I tell Stacy that we can work on our relationship for the next month and then we can discuss breaking up or not then. As a matter of principal, to give our relationship every chance, I break up with my girlfriend. For a month, Stacy and I are on our best behavior. (e-mails)

2003 March

After a month of consideration, I decide to break up with Stacy for good. Stacy continues to beg for me to stay with her. She embarks on a campaign to improve herself in my image. One such endeavor is to enroll in High Tech Institute to become an X-ray technician. (e-mails)

2003 April

Things have started to fall into a routine. Stacy goes to school in the evening and leaves the house at 6pm.  I come home after work, fix myself something to eat and play with the kids until it is time for them to go to bed. After I tuck them in and Stacy returns from school, I either go to sleep in my office at home, or go visit my girlfriend at her house. On the weekends, I stay home with the kids. Stacy is hurting and has severe mood swings. She calls me at least 30 times a day a work as well as e-mailing me. Emails and calls continue in May .

2003 June

Stacy decides to come looking for me at work one Saturday and create another scene. (e-mail). I am finally officially fired from my salaried position as Programmer. Based on my good work history, the company allows me to continue as an hourly data processor while I look for a new job.

2003 July

Takako is offered a new career opportunity and decide to leave CCI. Everybody is sad but wishes her well at her farewell party. (e-mails)

2003 Aug

Through help of good friends and co workers, I find a new job in Ormond Beach which is located north of Daytona Beach Fl. I get a room in a huge house in New Smyrna Beach. The kids stay with Stacy at the house. I call every night to tell them goodnight. Stacy continues to call me day and night. I spend time with the kids during the weekends while staying at my girlfriend's house overnight.

I started my own business doing some programming for a coworker who started his own company. This little extra income is essential to keeping the bills paid for two households. I am grateful for the work.

Stacy continues to have free use of the ATM card and the bank account to purchase whatever she needs at the house. But in an attempt to become more independent, Stacy gets a job at a nearby gas station working third shift. With her going to school from 7am to 12pm, and working the graveyard shift. I thought it would be disruptive for the kids. When I suggested that the kids stay with me and go to school in Daytona, Stacy promptly quit her new job. But much to my surprise, she continues to attend school. (e-mails) Good for her. 

Zach starts 3rd grade, Mirrissa is now in 1st grade at Kathleen Elementary.

2003 Sept

Stacy files to obtain a restraining order against Takako. She accuses Takako for making harassing phone calls, writing letters to her, and drawing graffiti on the exterior of the house and back of the Ford truck I drive. No charges are filed and the restraining order request is dismissed.

2003 Oct

 

2003 Nov

Months are passing with this arrangement. Even though there is drama every weekend, I start to feel happier and optimistic for the future. Slowly, Stacy realizes that she needs to prepare for a separation and she sends me a draft of a "Living Agreement" she wrote up for me to sign. (e-mails)

2003 Dec

I have settled into my work and things are looking up. Things with my girl friend are working out. With her help, I find and move in to a decent apartment that is 5 miles from work with a great view of the water. And best of all, it is in the school district of Pine Trail Elementary, an excellent school in Ormond Beach.

Negotiations with Stacy on the separation agreement continue.

2004 The Year of Custody Battle

2004 Jan

Stacy moves to duplex in Holly Hill which is just south of Ormond Beach. First set of parenting schedule is in place and I start giving Stacy her money. Children enroll in Pine Trail Elementary School.

2004

Feb

Stacy goes through numerous parenting schedule changes and creates scenes whenever she had to relinquish the kids. Second parenting schedule takes effect at the end of the month.

2004 March

Another huge fight with the kids in the middle. Final straw, I retain Mr. Paul Rice and move forward with legal measures. Stacy and I continue to have problems with schedule. She continues to ask me for more money. Finally I have the attorney write her a letter.

2004 April

On a brighter note, Takako is able to find renters for my house is Lakeland.

2004 May

 

Stacy receives paperwork regarding the domestication of the Washington order and enforces "every other weekend" visitation schedule.

Stacy gets a job at the local Race Track gas station working the 6am to 3pm shift. Shortly there after Stacy drops out of school.

DCF is contacted. Stacy starts using a babysitter Michelle Rollings.

Phone log. The Jeep.

I have a private investigator interview Nikki, our neighbor in Lakeland regarding Stacy and her interaction with the kids.

2004 June

*Mother's notice of contest of domestication of foreign judgment.

Stacy retains Garry Fox as her attorney.

Dispute with Stacy regarding summer camp, karate camp and day care arrangements for the summer. Kids are sneaked off to attend summer camp at YMCA Camp Wynona.

2004 July

*WA order is domesticated in FL.

The renters of my house in Lakeland move out in a hurry.

Stacy suddenly decides to give Tuesday and Wednesday visitation.

2004 Aug

*Motion to designate father to make decisions concerning education.

*Motion for Co Parenting counseling

*Motion to Modify Foreign Judgment.

Stacy enrolls children in Holly Hill Elementary School. I get in contact with teachers

Stacy suddenly ends Tuesday and Wednesday visitation. Hurricanes blow through Florida.

2004 Sept

Stacy, kids and I start counseling with Ms. Devine.

*Stacy's deposition.

2004 Oct

Stacy meets new love interest, Alan. Stacy said they bonded over sharing experiences on cheating ex's.

Takako moves in with me at my apartment and starts working as a Timeshare sales person at Club Navigo.

2004 Nov

* Mediation with Richard Gordon

* Request court order for custody evaluation

* Interrogatories requested to Stacy

My step mom Dolly and my dad visit from Spokane WA, in their deluxe RV. We spend Thanksgiving together and they spend some time with the kids.

I am served with foreclosure notice papers for my house in Lakeland. I consult with a bankruptcy lawyer.

Sessions with Ms. Jane Devine continue. Stacy says she is having "trust issues" with her new boyfriend because of what I did to her.

2004 Dec

Mirrissa is in a Christmas chorus performance.

We volunteer for the PTA to get the Christmas Float together so the kids will get to ride and participate in the marching.

Stacy decides to move in with Alan after one month and the kids move to Palm Coast which is approximately 25 miles north. Stacy tells me that kids are going to school at Indian Trails Elementary starting January. It is an excellent school less than a mile from their new house. I approve, perhaps too enthusiastically. The next day, Stacy decides to obtain a variance so kids can commute to Holly Hill Elementary.

2005 The Year of Loss

2005 Jan

With trial looming, Stacy proactively starts discussing visitation schedule and household rules. I draft the parenting plan and the list of do's and don'ts Stacy rattled off. Stacy reviews it and make changes.

*Trial, utter defeat. Final Parenting Order

Letter to Stacy  (and here's what I really wanted to say).

My girlfriend and I go on a cruise to the Bahamas. (Some Bahamas pictures)

2005 Feb

Conference with the kids' school teachers.

*Child support hearing. Wage garnishment starts.

Stacy suddenly starts dropping the kids off at my place in the morning. I find out she fired the babysitter. Babysitter refuses to talk to me saying "I just don't want to have anything to do with Stacy anymore".

2005 March

All four of us go to Mud Monkey and paint pottery.

At the end of March, I move to Tampa with my girlfriend and start telecommuting. Stacy enrolls kids in Indian Trails Elementary in Palm Coast the next day. I am happy for the kids at least they will be able to get up at a decent time and go to a "good school".

2005 April

My drivers license is suspended for $500 that wage garnishment didn't take back in January.

My last visit with the kids for the year.

Kids call to ask me to bring their bikes over to their house.

2005 May

Stacy petitions the court "Motion to relocate to Jacksonville" and it is granted. New orders state she cannot take the kids out of Duval County.

2005 June

My brother Rick is arrested for murdering his wife and two children.  I visit my family for the funeral with Takako. Stacy said that Mirrissa "cried all night" after hearing the news.

I call Zach on his birthday. He is 11 years old, They are on their way out to eat at Cracker Barrel. I wish him happy birthday.

2005 July

Takako and I go to Miami for a short vacation in South Beach.

Takako and I are chosen to be in the Tivo infomercial that will be filmed in Tampa. Lots of fun.

2005 Aug

Stacy moves with Alan to Orange Park, near Jacksonville Florida.

Zach is in 5th grade, Mirrissa in 3rd grade at Doctors Inlet Elementary School. (School District Zone Map, school website). Good thing is that this school is ranked "A" in Florida State and has a multi grade classes with teachers with pretty good backgrounds. They are also a "Title One" school and have funding for remedial tutoring and other academic aids. I hope Stacy lets the kids get everything available to them.

I call Mirrissa on her birthday. She is 9 years old. She is busy and hangs up quickly.

Stacy calls demanding Mirrissa's insurance card to get her evaluated for ADHD at the request of the new school. I send another copy to Stacy. No claims yet.

Kids School Calendar Aug.

2005 Sept

Stacy marries Alan. They take the kids out of school to visit Alan's family in South Carolina. Before leaving, Stacy calls repeatedly to demand child support money "the kids could really use it right now".

Later in the month I am able to pay back child support and get my license back.

Kids School Calendar Sept.

2005 Oct

The state is late giving Stacy her child support check, so she calls and threatens to suspend my license. Zachary leaves a voice mail asking why "you don't love us and why you don't want us to be part of your life anymore". I don't call back because there is nothing I can say to Stacy that won't indirectly hurt the kids.

Kids School Calendar Oct.

2005 Nov

 

 

 

Mirrissa calls to ask for her ceramic piggy bank she painted at Mud Monkey. When I tell her to ask for one for Christmas, she replies that mommy needs money for food so she won't buy me one. Zach calls and asks for his Yu-gi-oh cards.

Kids School Calendar Nov.

2005 Dec

Takako and I send a Christmas card with our picture to the kids.  Stacy declines grandma's present of horse back riding lessons for the kids because it is "too far" to drive.

I call the kids on Christmas day. Zach got a motorcycle for Christmas. Zach hands the phone over to Mirrissa because they are about to go out to eat. Mirrissa hangs up after saying "I don't want to talk anymore". Stacy was coaching her to say in the back ground.  Couple hours later, Mirrissa leaves a message on voice mail with a well rehearsed litany of what she got for Christmas and how she enjoys it. She trails off saying, "was that all mama...?"

Kids School Calendar Dec.

2006 The Year of Transition

2006 Jan

Stacy calls to say the IRS has contacted her regarding her tax return for 2004 and demands to know why I claimed the kids when they were "hers" and nobody else's.

Zach calls to ask for his bicycle and Yu-Gi-Oh cards, says he is in Lakeland with mommy and will come pick them up soon but does not want to see daddy. I leave the bikes and cards on the curb for them but they are taken by someone else before they arrive. Zach leaves hateful voice mail about how he no longer has "transportation" and how daddy had "gotten his stuff stolen". Couple hours later he leaves another message saying that all he said previously is "pretty much true" and that he hates daddy and never want to see him again. Halfway through, he pauses to ask mommy what else he should say. Stacy instructs him but he tells her “no, I am not going to tell daddy that..”

Kids School Calendar Jan.

2006 Feb

No contact with kids. Hear from grand parents that Zachary is doing well in school and playing baseball. Stacy has decided that Mirrissa is going to see a doctor about her hyperactivity. Stacy had sent them some pictures and they comment on how "sad" Zachary as he plays baseball. Grandparents report that Stacy has a job at an office for some time now and the kids have to go to daycare. (April- I find out from the kids that Stacy has not worked for a long time)

No health insurance claims have come through for either of the kids.

Kids School Calendar Feb. Kids Breakfast / Lunch Menu

2006 March

 

 

Mirrissa calls and leaves a voice mail. She wants her ceramic piggy bank. She called me "David" instead of "daddy". I am filled with concern for the kids and disgust for the type of things Stacy is encouraging Mirrissa to say. But there is nothing I can do.

Kids School Calendar March. Kids Breakfast / Lunch Menu

2006 April

    Stacy calls 30 times in one day regarding Jeep’s financing. Mirrissa also calls leave another voice mail wanting the piggy bank and calling me David. Next day she resumes the calls. I find time during work and pick up tell her to stop calling. I ask her if her husband is ok with her calling me so much. She said it was “none of his business” (poor guy). She said that this website is “all lies”. Further by the website, I am “in violation of shared parenting”. All I could do was laugh and shake my head, disgusted at her ignorance and self absorption.

No insurance claims for the kids have come through. Calling for the kids’ insurance cards was just a ploy to call me on Stacy’s part.

    Takako and I decide to take our vacation in St Augustine Fl. It is about an hour away from Jacksonville and we pick up the kids for my weekend with them on Friday. It has been a year since I saw them last. Seeing the kids, it was as if the last year didn’t happen. Physically they have grown some, not as much as I thought they would have. Emotionally and mentally it was as though no time had passed. I have some pictures of our trip. More notes to come.

Kids School Calendar April.

2006 May

    DCF contacts us regarding the kids visit with us in St. Augustine. Stacy has filed a claim regarding some behavior during the visit. They have interviewed us and will be conducting interviews of the kids. More info will be uploaded after the investigation is complete. I guess Stacy is still not ready to let the father of her kids be part of their lives. Nothing ever changes does it?

     My neighbor call Stacy from my phone to ask if the kids could speak with her daughter Carey because they used to play together and the kids said they wanted to talk to Carey when I saw them last. At 8:30pm Stacy didn’t pick up the phone. A little before 9pm, Stacy picked up and said she would be happy to have the kids talk but they were already in bed.

     Stacy calls asking me to call her back to discuss my “intentions with the kids”. I call her back. Stacy says that I am being an irresponsible father. I say to her “no more than you”. Stacy replied “I take care of those kids EVERY DAY!!” I sighed and said “Yeah, and it shows.” Stacy got very agitated and repeated that she takes GOOD care of the kids, over and over again. I guess she has a guilty conscience. I just said “yes, yes I can tell”.

Kids School Calendar May.

2006 June

    DCF has now involved the Child Protection Team in their Jacksonville office.

    My mom tells me that the kids are scheduled to be in Spokane the first week of July with Dolly and Dad, then with her for the second week, then with Stacy’s brother Bill for the third week. She said that Dolly was buying the plane tickets for the kids now. I am glad kids will have an experience away from home. They will have a great time.

    Zach’s Birthday, 12 years old. I call at 8:30pm so that I don’t interfere with any birthday activities that may be happening. Stacy does not pick up her cell phone and I leave a message. Twenty minutes later the phone rings I pick up but nothing on the other end. I call back and Allen answers Stacy’s cell phone. I ask to speak to Zach but Allen is distracted on the other end. Finally Zach comes on the phone and answers my questions in one word answers, monotone throughout. I can tell there is arguing going on and Zach doesn’t know how to act towards me. So I let him go back to watching “Shrek”. He tells me he loves me with emotion and hangs up. Later that night my mom calls and says she also spoke to Zach who was just as unresponsive. Same bullshit just a different day.

2006 July

Kids fly to Washington to visit their grandparents and Uncle Billy. I go visit my mom and see the kids for a week.  Zach is depressed and distant. He rarely smiles from his heart and his carefree easy going spirit has been crushed. He has adopted the nonchalant empty smile and silence that I have often used to avoid difficult situations. I can see it is the only means of defense he has and the strain is visible through the depression and exhaustion that lurks just under the surface.

 Mirrissa’s whining, constant lying, control and manipulation tactics are very strong and has totally eclipsed her personality.  My parents, my friends and even Uncle Billy has found it difficult to tolerate Mirrissa’s behavior and chooses to avoid her. It is very difficult to have any sort of meaningful interactions with her. 

While they are in Washington, Stacy and Allen move to a new house located in Duval County. Kids return to Florida at the end of the month. I am disappointed that they will now live in a rural area far from any neighbors. Exposure to normal people was the kids’ only chance. Now only time they will leave the house is for school and to go to the mall with Stacy.

DCF has concluded its investigation and has declared that I am of no threat to the children. Off the record, the investigator sympathized with me and said that the children will have a difficult time ahead of them but they can’t do anything to help since it is up to the mother to take them to counseling or other such assistance.

2006 August

Mirrissa will probably be in 4th grade at Mamie Agnes Jones Elementary School. This school was given a grade of "A" by the Florida Department of Education in 2005-2006. Zach will probably be in 6th grade at  Baldwin Middle-Senior High School  This school was given a grade of "C" by the Florida Department of Education in 2005-2006. 

Mirrissa’s birthday, 10 years old. I call on her birthday. Mirrissa picks up not knowing who is on the phone. As soon as she realizes it is me, her happy cheerful tone immediately changes to single word monotone responses.  I also speak to Zach and in stark contrast to the happy talkative kid last weekend; I could barely pry two words out of him. His surgery is scheduled for October 4th. I ask to speak to Allen to discuss visitation schedules. He comes on the line and we discuss issues with the kids and Stacy at length. I hope we can keep this line of communication open.

2006

September

I have somewhat resumed visitation with the kids.

My worst fears have been confirmed. Allen is beating Stacy. For all these years my rational to stay with Stacy was the fact I was afraid that she will marry the first available loser and he will abuse her and my kids. I have already expressed my concern regarding this in my letter to Stacy and Allen year and a half ago.  Throughout my visits with the kids, I have tried to avoid any conversations about their home life for fear of learning about such things. Knowing about it would only make me feel angry and sad that my children are living like that as well as not wanting to put them in a difficult spot when their mother interrogates them upon return.  However, the kids volunteered that Allen had struck Stacy on more than one occasion and even the police had been called. No choice but to make a report to the DCF.

In terms of my time with the kids, it has been exhausting but I have thoroughly enjoyed myself. The kids have blended effortlessly into the routine of our weekends together and both have expressed a strong desire to return each time. On their home front, things are not as fun. So far each weekend has resulted in some emotional kind of outburst. Stacy in her usual fashion will say anything that comes to her mind to obstruct the visits. She shows no embarrassment or shame to yell and scream in front of her neighbors at her new house. Allen has also joined in and already threatened violence against me in front of the kids. The exchanges are increasingly stressful for the kids. I have reported Allen’s physical threats and abuse towards the kids to DCF. I have little faith in them as they have already told me that they don’t have time to look too deeply into reports unless there is a skull fracture or its equivalent.  Their resources are just stretched too tight. 

2006

October

Visitation interference throughout the month of October. Stacy’s reason is that I filed two “false” reports on her to the DCF one week from each other.  DCF is investigating the 2 cases but they are very busy and have not yet interviewed the children. The case worker did not know about the case when I spoke to her. 

Additionally, Stacy filed for an injunction of domestic violence against me for harassing her. This petition was dismissed in its entirety by the judge. Unfortunately, Stacy fails to see that my DCF reports are not about her but about her husband’s inappropriate behavior. In both cases, she is just as much a victim of Allen as are the kids. I saw Stacy shake in anger when the judge made his decision.

 This now adds up to 3 separate restraining orders being denied for her. In this day and age, restraining orders are handed out like candy and require no evidence whatsoever because judges are afraid NOT to give one out for fear that they will be sued later when the woman ends up beaten to death by her abusive husband. So it is interesting to note that 3 different judges in three different cities denied her this.

Her claims include the following:

“Mr. Prather filed a second false report to DCF against me within one week of each other.”

“Mr. Prather takes unauthorized pictures of me when he comes for visitation as well as of my husband, the kids, my house and the neighbors walking up and down the street. I have no privacy whatsoever!”

“For the past three years Mr.  Prather has harassed me by calling police and DCF, filing false reports.

Mr. Prather continues to call me all the time to harass me to see the children”

“He has created a website which he dedicates to our children but on reality he is using site to harass and bad mouth me. I contacted SAO but they can’t do anything because “of freedom of speech”.

 “Mr. Prather used to hit me ‘all the time’ but I don’t want to talk about it in front of all these people (in court)”.

One good thing that Stacy included in her petition was to request the visitation exchanges take place at her neighbor’s house.  I have for years been trying to get Stacy to agree to exchange the children in a public location to avoid her inappropriate behavior.  Even though her motives for the suggestion stem from her claim that I am harassing her, I don’t object to actions that are actually going to spare the kids from further unpleasantness from their mother and step father.  Unfortunately my lawyer advised me that even if it is a “good thing” he cannot allow it because this is the wrong court to do it in. He advised me that I should wait till Stacy files for it in family court.

2006

November

DCF investigation is now closed. They have verified from both children and Allen that details of what I reported did indeed happen. The case worker didn’t think Allen hitting Stacy or Allen threatening me in front of the kids was a big deal and informed me that DCF was not going to do anything about it. The main reason DCF is investigating this case is because Stacy made a report against me. It was reported that I downloaded rap music for Zach’s MP3 player that contained vulgar language. Case worker told me that “Stacy does not tolerate that kind of language in her home.”  Case worker was surprised that I was unaware of this report. She confirmed that it was not a problem anymore because Zach told her that he only listens to the beat and does not pay attention to the words.

Case worker said that it was the “mother’s right to keep the children from their father while there is an open DCF investigation”. Further, she confirmed that it continues to be the “right of the mother “even when the investigation concerns the mother’s home and not the father’s.  Her supervisor wrote a letter to this effect on behalf of Stacy so that Stacy will not have to let the kids see me.  When I requested a copy of the letter, the case worker said “it was not DCF’s responsibility to notify the other parent and it was up to the mother”.  I asked if she knew that Florida was a shared parenting state and specifically prohibits such actions. The case worker said that didn’t matter because “it was the mother’s right..”

This means that as long as there is an “open” investigation with the DCF, Stacy does not need to let the children visit their father. So in other words, Stacy can continue to file new reports with DCF each time a case is closed and continue this bull crap until both children are 18. I have no doubt that Stacy will jump on this new found weapon and use it indiscriminately. 

Although Stacy claimed that I filed “false” reports to the DCF, all of my reports have been substantiated as true by the DCF. In contrast, each and every report Stacy has filed have been “unsubstantiated” including those that are for other people’s children.  However it is clearly DCF’s opinion that keeping the custodial mother “pacified” so that she is not bothering them day and night is much more important than making sure the children know their father. It will not matter how many “false” reports Stacy makes to DCF, she can still do whatever she wants which is to abuse my kids and deprive them of their father. She can even make a report about someone at the kids’ school or neighbor abused the kids and she will have every “right” to deny them contact with their father.

At this point, I dare not write or call Stacy for fear I will be accused of harassment. I have also been advised to never meet her or her husband or other adult members of her family without a third party present. I will just have to wait until Stacy gets tired of the current line of bull shit of “you are butting into my business so I want you to stay away from the kids” and decide pull one of those “you are a bad father because you aren’t coming to see your children, they cried all night because they though you were coming to get them” lines.  Drama drama.

Again, I must withdraw from my children’s life. Sadly I will probably only get to see them for a few more times before they are 18. But as hard as it is, I have to accept that Stacy will always be Stacy and will never change the way I want her to be. And that I chose to have kids with her so I only have myself to blame for my pain of missing my kids. I hope that someone is out there that can ease my children from the pain of not having their father in their lives.  I just know its not going to be their mother or step father. 

2006 December

Stacy continues to visit the website and write comments in the guest book. In her ignorance and self-centeredness she clearly stats that she holds no responsibility in the current situation.   I have decided to block her access to the website from work.  There is nothing more I need her to say to strengthen my position.

2007 New Beginnings

 

2007 January

On January 3rd, Stacy leaves me a voice mail. Angry that the kids’ insurance had been “cancelled”. She took Zachary in for surgery and the hospital told her the insurance was cancelled and she will now more than $300 in bills. She called my company’s HR person and ranted how “I have a court order that says David can’t cancel the insurance”.  My company had decided to change providers this year and was going with less coverage for higher premiums. I decided to have Takako put me and the kids on her insurance.  I mailed out the new insurance cards at the beginning of the year.  I was not told of this upcoming surgery so I have no choice but to let Stacy work with the new insurance to cover it.  No claims, not even prescription medicine claims have come through for the kids. Perhaps Stacy is going to let Zach go without pain killers or antibiotics?

Takako and I spend 2 weeks visiting my mom in Spokane. We thoroughly enjoyed visiting with my mother and we had a great time.  My mom is now planning to get us up there again this summer.

2007 February

 

Both kids have had dental and vision insurance for a long time now but no claims have gone through. No claims on the health insurance either. 

Stacy’s visit to the website has decreased to the occasional visits from the library or her friends’ house.  It is all for the best. Less she obsesses about my existence less opportunity for her to come up with new mind games for the kids. 

2007 March

 

No word from the kids. I hear from the grand parents that Zach wants to come visit the grandparents this summer but he probably won’t be able to. Life goes on. Stacy has not accessed the site directly from her work in about a month. She has found that she can use Google to see the website cache. It seems to me she has other things occupying her. For the kids I am glad.

2007 April

 

 

It seems that Stacy and Allen have finally officially purchased their house. I am glad for the kids that they will not be moving around every year. Maybe they will get more support from their schools. The neighbors will also know what it means to be Stacy’s friend and either turn out to be a good friend to her or shut her out completely. I wonder if Stacy is going to  make good on her promise to take the kids to the dentist and get new glasses for Mirrissa. I also hear through the grapevine that Stacy won’t use the kids health insurance because Takako is paying for it. Who knows what her twisted mind is thinking. With her monthly house payments near $2000, who can afford to pay for the children’s needs especially without insurance.

2007 May

Another month goes by without any word from the kids. A little information from friends and family indicate that Allen and Stacy are not getting along. I suspect that the only thing keeping Allen in their marriage is the $1100 a month child support income that Stacy brings in. I am pleasantly surprised that Stacy has still kept her job at the AC service office.  I think she is breaking a new record for continued employment. I am glad for the kids that she has work to focus her angers on and is not at home very much.

Takako and I go see Shrek 3. We remember the good times we had with the kids.

2007 June

Stacy calls requesting Takako’s insurance information for the kids’ eye doctor. I call the Dr with the information. I am glad that it seems like Mirrissa is getting new glasses for the first time in two and a half years.

I call Zach for his birthday he is 13 years old. I leave a message. I try back later but no answer, no return call.

2007 July

My mom speaks to the kids and find out that Zach has gone to a summer camp. It is unclear what kind of camp.  Mirrissa wants grandma to send her a horse for her birthday.  She also hears from Zach that “daddy doesn’t love me because he doesn’t call me” According to Zach, he hung on to Stacy’s cell phone all day on his birthday waiting for me to call him but I never did.

Stacy calls requesting Takako’s insurance information. I tell her to email it to me and I will call the doctor and I hang up. She calls back right away. Takako answers the phone and tells her Dave is not available. Stacy starts yelling and whining about how this is ridiculous and how she can’t even make a doctor’s appointment for the kids and how she is going to have her attorney call us if this doesn’t stop!!! Takako tells her that she doesn’t need to cry and be so upset and that if Stacy will give her the doctor’s information she can call it in right away. Stacy becomes very business like and gives the phone number and the contact name at the doctor’s office.  The appointment was for a physical.  

2007 August

I call Mirrissa on her birthday and leave a message she is 11 years old. Stacy does not call back.

Takako and I are engaged. We fly to Washington to visit my mom and see my friends from high school at the 20 year reunion.  My mom, Takako and I belabor over how to let the kids know that I am engaged. If I call from home, Stacy will not pick up the phone so my mom agrees to call them and pass the phone to me so that I can at least tell the kids directly before they hear it from somewhere else. Mirrissa comes on the phone and I am able to tell her. I ask for Zach but Mirrissa is unable to find him so she calls over Stacy and tells her that “Dad” is on the phone. I pass the phone to my mom and she talks to Stacy for a while before she gets Zach on the phone. My mom asks Zach if he wants to talk to me but Zach says that Stacy is listening and he is not allowed to speak to me. According to Stacy, I have hurt the kids enough by not calling them so I am not allowed to talk to them on the phone.  Makes much sense as pissing in the wind.  Stacy is going to send my mom proof that I never have tried to call the kids. She still doesn’t see that she is the MOTHER and SHE should be calling me to MAKE me talk to the kids if I am such a lousy rotten father who has forgotten about his kids.

The good to come out of the call is that Stacy did not object when my mom asked to see the kids when she flies down for our wedding in January.

2007 September

 

2007 October

 

2007 November

 

2007 December