Parenting Schedules

Sequence and descriptions of parenting schedules implemented in 2004. Poor kids shuttled around like luggage, but they stuck to it well. They did not complain once, about having to move from one house to the other. I think they understood better than either of their parents how they need both parents in their lives and they were willing endure whatever it took to get it.

First Schedule

Stacy attended school 7am to 12pm. The school was located a little over an hour away from where we lived, so she usually left her place around 5:30 in the morning. I worked a regular 9am to 6pm schedule. In this schedule, the kids slept at my place on all school nights, Sunday to Thursday and I took them to school in the morning. Each day, after her school let out, Stacy picked up the kids from school and watched them until I got off from work. On Friday, Stacy kept them overnight into the weekend until Sunday night when they came back to me. Saturday daytime was to be determined by rotation and work schedules. The first parenting schedule was designed by me. I thought it was pretty good. It accommodated everyone's schedule and provided a pretty stable environment for the kids and exposure to both parents pretty equally.

Second Schedule

After much haggling, Stacy comes up with the second schedule.

"Here is what i have come up with, and i am not going to argue with you anymore. you go ahead and believe what ever it is you want to believe about me i really dont give a crap anymore. I am just glad that i am not with you anymore. "

Monday:dave

Tuesday:stacy

Wednesday:stacy

Thursday:dave

Friday:stacy

Saturday:dave

Sunday:dave on this weekend i get them back at no later than 6:00 pm

monday:stacy

Tuesday:dave

Wednesday:dave

Thursday:stacy

Friday:Dave

Saturday:stacy

Sunday:stacy on this weekend you get them back no later than 6:00 pm and if you show up late to pick them up i dont care to hear that you didnt get to spend much time with them. "

Stacy is still going to school in the morning, so on the days kids stay with her, they get up at 5am and are dropped off at my place so she can get there on time. Stacy also assumes that she will pick up the kids each day from school and watch them until I get off of work on my nights with the kids. I decide that I need to make changes in my work schedule so that I can see them more. I propose the flex schedule to my boss and stress how important it is to me to make this work. My boss grudgingly agrees. By doing this, I can go pick up the kids from school on my days with them and do afternoon activities like homework, sports and dinner with them.

Third Schedule

After receiving paperwork about domesticating the WA order, Stacy decides to enforce every other weekend visitation. Transition time was at 6pm on Friday and 6pm on Sunday. Father is responsible for all transportation. I get off of work at 6pm. On numerous occasions, Stacy denied visitation because I arrived "30 minutes late" even though I have asked her to wait till 7pm because of my work. One time she insisted the kids were already in bed. I could see the kids peeking through the curtains as she claimed this.

Fourth Schedule

In July, Stacy suddenly called and demanded to know when I was picking the kids up on Tuesday. When questioned, she stated "of course you get them on Tuesday and Wednesday nights!!" As if we had already discussed this. So for a month or so, I have the kids on Tuesday night and Wednesday night in addition to the every other weekend. Stacy insisted that kids must go to the baby sitter on those days for stability. But I took the liberty to let them go to summer day camp.

Fifth Schedule

As soon as the kids started school at Holly Hill, Stacy ended Tuesday and Wednesday visitation. One day I went the pick up the kids and they had already gone with Stacy. Upon calling Stacy to ask why, she said "That was just for the summer Dave!" in her most condescending tone as if I was an idiot to even ask. So from that point on, it was every other week end visits and nothing else. I tried to call them as often as possible but wasn't able to reach them most nights and on others, Stacy interfered enough that it was a totally unpleasant experience for both me and the kids. Mirrissa gave up trying to talk to me on the phone and refused to come on the phone.

In November, my dad and my step mom came to Daytona and visited in their brand new RV. They had just retired in the spring and this was their first big trip. I gave them Stacy's phone number so they could ask her directly for the kids. She was very open to letting the kids stay with their grandparents. Stacy and the kids were living with Allan whom she had met a month ago. The grand parents got to meet him and said that "he seems like a decent man". My step mom even went to say that he was "built" and was quite handsome. So while the kids were with my dad, I got to see them and spend some extra time with them. Dad and Dolly got to meet my girlfriend and they were pleased. Dolly even gave her a big hug and said "I love you" as we said our goodbyes. She had never said anything like that to Stacy in all the years we lived together. Overall the visit went very well.

In December, Stacy informed me that I could have the kids for five days after Christmas since she has to work and the babysitter is closed. On the second day, Stacy came to pick up the kids with a police escort and the WA order in hand. She had called earlier that day and talked to the kids and did not approve of what was going on in my house. The police showed up at 11:30pm and the kids and I were playing our favorite Shrek board game. Kids were disappointed and cried when they realized what was going on. But by the time Stacy came up the stairs and told them to stand behind her, they just had blank expressions on their faces. The police officer explained that she understands that I love my kids and what is going on here is wrong, she has to enforce the court order. She strongly urged me to go to court and get a better schedule set up. My neighbor Rob and his girlfriend came out horrified at what was going on. He looked over the balcony and saw that Allan was standing by the police car with his arms crossed and a grim expression on his face. After I signed the papers the police officer left with the kids.