In the very beginning, my attorney asked me to list the reasons I felt that I should be designated primary residential parent. It was part of the standard paperwork he asks all new clients. From this document and through conversations with me he drafted the modification of the WA judgment.
At the time of initial custody decision in
Approximately a year later, after graduating from college,
father decided to move to
They have for the most part, lived together and raised the children
Father moved out at the mother’s request for 1 year when she decided to have her new boyfriend move in with her. Subsequently she asked him to move back in with her to help support the children.
May of 2000, father’s company relocated him to an office in
March of 2002, father purchased the house on Dove Cross Lp.
In July of 2003 the father moved to
There has been considerable stress in the household due to the separation. Father is genuinely concerned for the psychological well being of the children and has made significant changes in his life to take a more active role in the care for the children. With the changes in place, he believes that he can now provide a more suitable living arrangement for the children where they will be able to be cared by the mother as much as her unpredictable schedule permits.
Below are some itemized points that describe the current situation.
Children
are enrolled in
Father’s work place is located 1 mile away from the
children’s school which will allow him to be available to pick up the kids at a
short notice. He also resides in
Father is continuously making effort to improve his parenting skills and will be attending two parenting classes and is planning on participating in a 10 week parenting class next month. Father is meeting with the children’s teachers at least twice a month for a sit down discussion on the children’s progress. Based on the most recent discussion, the daughter will receive extensive tutoring to bring her math skills up to grade level. Mother has been unable to attend meetings because of her busy schedule.
The children are now at a grade level where the mother has difficulty helping them with their homework. Mother has indicated this frustration by misplacing the children’s homework. Father has a college degree and has been required to fill in more and more.
Father’s extended family is very supportive and has become much closer to the children and father since the separation. In the previous year, mother relayed misinformation to father’s extended family about how father and children felt about them. This misunderstanding was resolved after the separation and has brought the whole family even closer. They will continue to be available and have most recently offered to sponsor children’s summer camp. Although they reside in WA state, they make sure to stay involved with weekly calls into the family to check up on things. Mother’s parents are recently deceased and she now misses the constant support she was getting from her mother.
Father encouraged mother to follow the visitation schedule and to make no last minute changes in regard to where the children will sleep that night. He has always given more than a 24 hour notice if he needs to request a change on his days. Mother has failed to do this and continues to disrupt the schedule based on her needs.
Father has reasonable expectations of the mother. He expects her to support herself, and contribute her time to the children every day. Mother expects full support and full physical custody of the children regardless of the impracticalities of the schedule.
Father is sensitive to the children’s need for enrichment and has encouraged them to enroll in after school activities. Mother has discouraged after school activity because she believes that the children have ‘enough to do already’. Father makes sure that there is at least one fun activity per day (e.g. go to the store to pick out their favorite pizza for dinner) for the children and has eliminated random TV watching from his household. Due to the mother’s depressed mood, she rarely takes the kids out of the house and television is always on in the mother’s household.
Father has maintained steady income over the years and will
continue to pay for all costs relating to the children regardless of their
residence. Mother has been unable to hold down a steady job since leaving
Mother is currently in school which she attends
Father has chosen an employer that allows him flexible hours and for him to work from home as needed. He expects to be with this company for many years to come which will provide children with stability. Mother will be starting her non-paid externship in a couple of months as a requirement of her program. Location and work schedule for this is not yet determined. After completion of school, she will be obtaining a job as an x-ray technician. Her earning is expected to be approximately $10 to $12 an hour. Her work shift may involve evening, nights and weekends. Mother’s work schedule is yet to be determined.
Due to the stress of separation, mother has become increasingly unstable over the past year. Currently there is a disturbance in the household approximately once a week. Typically she will have a tantrum and yell and scream, and try to coerce the children to cooperate with her wishes regardless of what is reasonable or planned.
Her unhappiness with the separation is demonstrated by relentless put downs and name calling of the father in front of the children. She lies constantly and persuades the children to back her up. It is common for her to instruct the children to make inquiries to their father regarding his relationship (sex) with girlfriend on her behalf.
Since the separation, mother is against anything she believes she has been unjustly excluded from. She has not hesitated to make up falsehoods to discourage everything regardless of the best interest of the children.
She has demonstrated limited ability to handle increased responsibilities resulting from the separation. Management of checking account and a monthly budget has been very difficult resulting in constant overdrafts. Cell phone provided for her convenience was cancelled due to irresponsible usage of daytime minutes.
General maintenance and cleanliness of the household have also suffered. Many days, mother requests children’s clothes to be brought over from father’s house because she has not had time to launder the supply at her house. The ratio of children’s clothing is 30 / 70 in favor of mother’s residence.
Since her mother’s death in 2002, the mother has needed a friend to vent her frustrations and has now overstayed every neighbors (house on 6949 Dove Cross Lp) welcome and it has resulted in friction and alienation from the neighborhood. This caused a problem when neighbors indicated discomfort to having the children over to play with their children because of her behavior.