Comparison of FL Statute

In the two separated parents parenting classes I attended, we learned about the Florida Statue wording regarding custody determinations. We studied the spirit behind each item and how it was designed to keep the children's best interests at heart for continued meaningful contact with both parents after divorce or separation.

After attending the parenting class, I felt it would be important for Stacy to also attend her own class to be on the same page. Stacy agreed to go when I requested it during one of our counseling sessions. However she said she was only doing it for me because she did not feel she needed to learn to be a "better parent". I told her it was not about things like "how to discipline the kids" etc. But about how to make shared parenting work. In the end she never did get a chance to attend.

Here I compare item by item how Stacy and I measure up to the Florida Statue used for custody determinations. At trial, I presented this to Judge Frank Marriott and unbelievably he dismissed it saying "don't bother to tell me about the details." The judge also waved it off my request that the other parent be ordered to take a separated parenting class for the sake of the kids. It is really ironic because the class is "mandatory" for all separating couples with children who want to obtain a divorce decree in the state of Florida.

	Stacy			David
(a) The parent who is more likely to allow the child frequent and continuing contact with the nonresidential parent.
	Frequent = Impose minimum visitation of every other weekend. Ask to baby sit only if no other options are unavailable. Continuing = Persistent and extensive visitation interference. Telephone contact interference.			Frequent = want 50/50 parenting time alternating weeks. Strongly believes children need both their mother and father in their lives. Continuing = Consistent compliance with mother’s request. Adjustment of work schedule to meet children and mother’s demands.
(b) The love, affection, and other emotional ties existing between the parents and the child.
	Both parents have always been there for the kids and participated in the daily care of the children up to 2004.
(c) The capacity and disposition of the parents to provide the child with food, clothing, medical care or other remedial care recognized and permitted under the laws of this state in lieu of medical care, and other material needs.
	Capacity = Minimum wage with spotty work history. Disposition = Minimum but satisfactory. Currently working for the same place of employment for the past 8 months. Longest she has ever worked anywhere. She has done the best she can under difficult circumstances to provide for the children.			Capacity = Professional with a steady salaried job that pays well. Plus own consulting business. Disposition = Proven record for providing for children. Purchase suitable clothing for school on regular bases. Vision and dental care, hair cut appointments made and taken.
(d) The length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment and the desirability of maintaining continuity.
	Length of time = Stacy has resided in her previous residence in Holly Hill from Feb 2004 to Dec 2004. In Nov 2004 Stacy entered into a new romantic relationship and has moved in with him in Dec 2004. On Jan 8 2005 Stacy informed David that she will be moving out soon. Stable = Frequent moves due to change in circumstances. Satisfactory = Her previous residence was a duplex located in a row of duplexes on a busy industrial street. Recent move to a house located on a cul-de-sac in a nice development in Palm Coast. Desirability =Residence in Palm Coast is in the school district of an excellent school, Indian Trails Elementary. Mirrissa shares a bedroom with step sister and Zach has his own room. House has a pool and Jacuzzi and located in a very nice neighborhood and is highly desirable for the children.			Length of time = David has resided in his current residence in Ormond Beach since Dec 2003 Stable = Rental lease renewed. Satisfactory = Duplex neighbor has a 7 year old boy and nephews 11 and 5 who visit on weekends. Live close to river and enjoy fishing and playing in grassy field. Located over a commercial plumbing office off of main highway. Desirability = Kids have to share a large bedroom. Is located in the school district of Pine Trail Elementary.
(e) The permanence, as a family unit, of the existing or proposed custodial home.
			Tendency to jump into new relationships with both feet. Chooses not involve boyfriend in the matters of the children's lives because it is not his responsibility. Stacy ensures that the children are not a hindrance in her relationship with her significant other. History of frequent moves due to “not getting along with neighbors”		No established custodial environment for the children in the past year. Visitation has been at the mother's whim and caprice. Recently engaged to a woman he has dated for the past 2 years. Actively involves fiancé in the children's lives as their "bonus mom".
(f) The moral fitness of the parents.
			Received unqualified child support for 1 year. Pattern of bouncing checks, over usage of cell phone minutes and charge cards.			Girlfriend stays overnight at residence. Prior DUI record. Large debts including student loans, house foreclosure.
(g) The mental and physical health of the parents.
		Physical = Often has headaches and can't go to work. Difficult pregnancy and depression. Mental = Inconsistent / contradictory reports and communications to child care providers. Multiple documented incidents of rage and anger. Does not feel counseling is needed for herself.			Physical = Recently passed physical for life insurance policy. "healthy as a horse" very few absentees at work Mental = Currently in counseling with girlfriend to improve parenting skills. (separate from court ordered co counseling with Stacy) Attends parenting classes.
(h) The home, school, and community record of the child.
	Home = Reported aggression and cruelty displayed by boy. Frequent groundings and punishments needed. Regression and dependency of girl. School = Children had unexcused early dismissals and tardies due to mother's schedule and loneliness. Inappropriate clothing, incomplete homework. Cancelled tutoring. Falsification of children’s homework. Community = Interfered with extracurricular activities. Interfered with summer camp and field trips.			Home = No displays of aggression by boy. Demanding neediness, manipulations observed in girl. School = Active parent participation in PTA meetings and volunteers at children's school regularly. Regular conferences with teachers. Follow through on children’s homework and other academic needs. Community = Enrollment and participation in extracurricular activities.
(i) The reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of sufficient intelligence, understanding, and experience to express a preference.
	Children should decide who they want to stay with.			Feel children are too young to choose. Do not want to ask.
(j) The willingness and ability of each parent to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship between the child and the other parent.
	Continuing parental alienation History of parenting interference			Efforts to remain neutral. Recognize need for therapy to handle separation issues.
(k) Evidence that any party has knowingly provided false information to the court regarding a domestic violence proceeding pursuant to s. 741.30.
	None known
(l) Evidence of domestic violence or child abuse.
	None reported
(m) Any other fact considered by the court to be relevant.[227]
				David loves his children and believes they deserve a father in their lives. David will strive to be the best parent he can be for them. David has a job that allows him flexible hours.